![]() ![]() I suggest you say what you have to say to your kids, and then don’t wait for the eye-rolling. I guarantee you that if you ignore eye-rolling it will either go away or become comical to you. I say, “So what?” If you acknowledge eye-rolling and argue about it, you’re giving your child power he didn’t earn by being productive. Many parents feel that when kids roll their eyes, they’re being disrespectful or somehow challenging their authority. Like all annoying behaviors, it is meant to be a little rebellious and somewhat power-challenging. Eye-Rolling (the non-verbal “whatever”)Įye-rolling is a form of non-verbal backtalk and is a piece of cake to deal with. Ineffective: “What do you mean, ‘whatever?’ Let me tell you something, young lady…”Įffective: Ignore it, smile and turn around and walk away. Translation: It doesn’t bother me I don’t care it doesn’t matter. If you give the “whatever” power and you accept the invitation to the argument then you will lose the ground that you’ve already gained. If you’ve come out on top, don’t compromise your position by letting them draw you into an argument. “Whatever” is their weak way of trying to save some face. If a kid says, “whatever,” the odds are that the point has already been decided and you’re in charge of the situation. It’s backtalk that is a final attempt to anger you and to retaliate in some small way for something that your child doesn’t like. Kids generally say “whatever” to their parents when they’ve already lost the argument. But you won’t get your allowance until it’s done.” Or, “Well, that’s fine, but you can’t use the phone until it’s done.” ![]() Ineffective: “Okay, but make sure you get it done.”Įffective: “Well, that’s fine. ![]() Translation: If I put it off long enough, you’ll give up and I won’t have to do it. While many parents rationalize, “It’s easier if I just do it myself,” you need to understand that giving in to your child gives them a false sense of entitlement, a sense that “the world owes them something” and that they do not need to meet their responsibilities. One way children get around the rules of the household is to procrastinate and put their parents off until they eventually stop asking kids to help out. When kids act out, they aren’t always confrontational. In this article, we examine the most common backtalk that kids hurl at their parents when they act out, what they really mean, and how to respond to them in an effective way that puts the responsibility to behave appropriately where it should be: on the child. If you take those comments at face value-or take them to heart-you’ll always be on the defensive, constantly reacting to a child who’s out of control. When kids act out, they have an arsenal of backtalk they fire at you in order to put you on the defensive-a secret language that’s designed to win them control and absolve them of responsibility. ![]()
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December 2022
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